Mine’s a street map of Osaka.
Jimmy Possession, Robots and Electronic Brains
We got a £20 note. (Actually we got a little bag of science lab temperature reading labels, but we were still quite excited)
Nightshift, Oxford
The instructions are very useful. "DO NOT SWALLOW". After chewing it for a couple of hours now I can see why not. They also warn "Do not expect results", but let's face it. Who does? The picture on the back however, suggests that after 72 hours it should be 600% bigger and angry, but not in a good way.
Martin, Glasgow
I've got a little slip of paper from a Monty Python calendar, dated Tuesday 15th June 2004.
It's a mock-advert for "The Sensational Mr Peter Walker". I've never been one of those Monty Python obsessive types, so I don't know the reference, but I like the orange picture of him. And the description of him as a "mentalist"?. Selling yourself as a mentalist is something I hope to do one day. I don't hold out much ambition for his Sauna Bath Act though.
david, nottingham
Opening my AFT box was a bit like opening a Kinder Egg, except the gifts were much better. I got a little plastic animal that has the looks of a cheetah but the stripes of a tiger. i'm calling it a cheeger. Alongside the cheeger there is a fold out plastic sheet that looks like it was made by someone on a bad acid trip. I can't decide if it's meant to be an undersea scene or a jungle scene. Maybe it's neither. I'm tempted to take the cheeger into school and let it stand on top of my white board, but i'm afraid someone might nick it like they nicked my Disco Barbie, and then my box would be devalued as a Pop Artefact, so it's back in the box it goes. And it's a bugger getting that paper band on again, you know...
The Duke Of Harringay. Exeter
I'm well happy with this 'zany' Japanese sticker.
Apparently it's a toilet humour funny, like the old "if you sprinkle when you tinkle...", meaning something like:
If you soil on the toilet, you should sweep it by yourself.
It's harder for a cleaner to sweep it later if you don't do.
This will take pride of place on my spare lavvy now.
Steve Rodgers, Sevenoaks/Fife
I got an electrical component of some kind. Made in Japan, reference 303-179, LM317LZ. I'm not an electrical engineer type, but this website says it's a '3-Terminal Adjustable Regulator'. I'm still none the wiser. Safe to say, this particular regulator will spend an unfulfilled life, forever sealed within its little static-proof bag, tucked inside a record box, unaware what it feels like to regulate little tiny jolts of electricity for the good of humankind.
Jon, London
I got a manual for a MEGGER CBT3 Residual Current Circuit Breaker Tester. It's got 24 pages, and on pages six, there's black and white picture of some device; I never used a residual current circuit breaker tester, so I guess that's what they look like. The manual must have been locked away for years in a drawer or a locker or something, its smells like old people's homes, so I took it to the park 'cause I never do that with my grandma and I sort of feel guilty about that. I took a book with me and spent about two hours in the park, and it felt like sunday. Didn't read the manual yet, though. So, thanks a lots, Simon and Marceline.
Adrian, Zurich, Switzerland
I got a small packet of Lichfield's Demerara sugar. At first a little disappointing when I opened it up, but now I actually think it's cool. There's not much I can say about it, it looks like one of those packets of sugar you get from a coffee shop and it's demerara sugar. However, it has served a purpose because it reminded me of coffee shops and how wonderful the smell of coffee is, and I haven't drunk coffee for over a year because it started to give me migraines but this packet of sugar made me want coffee so I bought some decaff and I am now a happy man. So ok then it doesn't give me that wonderful caffeine rush but the smell is one of the best smells in the world and I like the taste of coffee, and that's good enough for me. Don't worry though, I have kept the sugar safe and sound.
Jamie, Reading.
I got a polaroid that looks like it's been tampered with during development. It spurred some wild speculation at work as to what it could actually be a photo of; my boss Kyle suggested a row of 4 people, perhaps a band, which i guess makes sense, but personally I think all trace of the original image has been removed. I like to think this was perhaps originally destined to be a photo of a small puppy licking at an ice-cream that had been dropped by a clumsy toddler moments before. It is a hot day, the sun is glaring in the background, and the ice-cream has already begun to melt on the concrete. With an unsurprising disregard for hygiene or manners, the puppy is more than happy to sample what he can of the discarded frozen treat. Where is his owner? Did the child who dropped the ice-cream shriek and wail until he received a replacement? Why was someone taking a photo of this? We may never know.
Ollie Simpson, Indianapolis, IN
This is my thing. It is a small red card that looks as though an elastic band was attatched to it. The card reads that it is a rejection card for a laser part. Apparently there are two spots that are wrong with it. It is supposed to be returned to a Nichia for credit. This was a very interesting thing. I must be honest that I am a little disappointed but not everyone can get something as sweet as "The Story of Art". I'm not even sure if I can use this. Am I allowed to trade it in for a better thing? (c:
Josh Harris, Whiteland IN
My thing is 'The Story of Art' by Emma Kay. It's a book documenting artists and art form in alphabetical order, written from memory. It was published to accompany her show of the same name at Tate Modern from December 2003-Spring 2004. From Abdu'allah, Faisal to Zubaran. Cracking.
Tom Brogan, Clydebank
My thing is a great big negative of what must be a great big photo. It has ultra modern devices on it which look like they belong in a kitchen with women but probably do something technological beyond my powers of comprehension. I can see a fire extinguisher on the wall in the background and some red taps which would be fun to turn. I plan to use my object to look at the sun through during the next solar eclipse. I'm not advocating the use of other things for this unless your thing is a pinhole projector. I'd also quite like to know who got the thing which used to be part of my underwear, but you can spare me the details of what you plan to use it for...
Moira Mehaffey, Gillingham, Kent
I got a photo of blurred traffic, (as far as I can make out).
Mac, Southampton
I got a membership card for the Gala Bingo. Nice, today I feel like a winner :-) Two fat ladies...
Adam, Glasgow
I got The Earldom of Chester. Or rather, I got a piece of cardboard that has seemingly been attacked by a child with some crayons, bestowing my earldom upon me. I will be visiting Chester as soon as possible to claim my title and hopefully chuck some peasants off my land, whilst laughing evilly. With a cape on.
Ben Ulph, Oxford
I got a blank chipboard as my free gift and I'm going to build a computer with it that can play your songs better than you can.
Phil Carnegie, London
I got a little yellow box of fuses. So I need never suffer the darkness, or indeed The Darkness.
Fraser Campbell, Glasgow
I have a computer disk with 'songs # 2' written on it in pencil, and crossed out in red pen. In the same red pen it says 'THE RING' on it in ominous capital letters. Initially, I must admit I was a little disappointed. Ungrateful little sod that I am. Computer disks remind of me of school and coursework, and I don't have a computer at home to play them on, so I had to wait until the following morning to find out what it was. It turns out that the disk had a file on it called 'Ringu.gif' 529KB) which, when opened, turned out to be a rather disturbing, distorted version of a band I know called Sunnyvale. It's a little animated gif, actually, and as well as the picture of the band with weird faces, it shows a little girl in a white dress with long black hair, with her head hanging down, and then some kind of eyeball and screaming mouth. Most disturbing. Not what you need for a summer's morning at all.
Ben Beaumont, Oxford